I missed the announcement on Thursday. I was instead doing my taxes when I realized what time it was. I pulled up the open home page to read it and thought I’d misread the rep numbers. 55 of each thing?!? Wait, 15? Maybe my contact prescription needs to be checked out. The gnarliest professional CF chicks were doing 1 full round and almost all of the 2nd rounds deadlifts. Which left me like, will I even make it through the row?

Here’s the workout:

In 13 minutes accomplish as many rounds as possible of:

55 Deadlifts (155 lbs for ladies or 225 lbs for men)

All I do all week is squat, dead lift, and bench press. So, to say my ego wasn’t attached to this first movement would be a lie. 155 lbs is now light but I knew it wouldn’t feel THAT light with that much volume. Dead lifting for speed versus for strength is a different beast all together. However, my mindset entering was pace for volume but don’t be too slow and underestimate my strength either.  During sets of 15 and then 10 it certainly brought out the tightness that already existed in my low back.

55 wall balls  (14 lb hitting a 9 ft target for ladies or 20 lb medicine ball hitting a 10 ft target for men)

For those unfamiliar with the movement: You stand underneath a target, drive out of the bottom of your squat hitting the weighted ball to the target. It springs back at you with acceleration in which case you catch while dropping into the bottom of your squat. String together in sets you can maintain with as short-ish rest as possible and repeat 55 times. Note: Try not to get hit in the face.

There are only a few movements that still get me really worked up inside. Meaning, I view them as punishment. I try to make them my friends but every time I slog through and hope for the best. Wall balls is one of them. My mental fortitude on this activity is truly lacking. I whine inside and typically fall apart from the original rep scheme plan I went in with. Luckily, I did this workout with Cathleen who is a wall ball magician. She tosses it up like it’s nothing and rebounds out of the squat like she’s throwing a tennis ball. We went side by side meaning I knew she would not waver from her decided upon sets.  Therefore, I could not waver. This is where the workout buddy really helps me kick into a higher gear. No matter how badly my lungs burned I kept at it. I am proud to report that out of sheer competitive nature I stuck to my sets of 10 here with short breaks.

55 calorie row 

Translation: Rowing for calories means you don’t smoothly see the number on the tiny screen go up for your efforts like when you’re rowing for meters. I do 5-6 pulls and scream in my head at the number on the screen still stuck on a number Sesame Street would teach. This can really unravel a person struggling for oxygen. One must remember, lose your mind= lose your breath= run out of gas.

I wouldn’t describe rowing as a strength of mine, however, I know how to find my 80% output and stay there. Mentally, when I got to the rower I was so damn thankful to be off the wall balls I decided rowing was my friend. I found my breathing on the rower and thought long and hard. Will I make it to handstand push ups? And if I do, what’s my plan?

 

55 hand stand push ups

Translation: You’ll kick up against a wall and lower your legs into what feels like an inverted crouching tiger position. You’ll kick your legs up hard opening your hips. This takes some of your body weight out of your shoulders relieving the amount of strength it takes to press your weight up.

Certain movements reps have the value of the gold bullion in Hatchet. Hand Stand Push Ups is one of them. Each rep requires so much energy, you can’t waste them. I think about Larry. He never eats a treat like candy or a cookie all at once. It pains me watch him and to not gobble up his treats as he portions out 5 pieces of candy over weeks. I can’t gobble the candy here. I have to portion and get my legs together over the line. I kicked up with extra forcefulness and thought sets of 5 with short breaks would be do-able. Two sets of 5 later, I could not sustain this rep scheme. I broke to a set of 3 and a set of 2 and just like that, 13 minutes was over.

This week is the last of the 5 week fitness test. My body feels thankful. It needs rest, a massage, some extra sleep. Everyone keeps saying this week is thrusters. I hope so. I think I’m the only person in my gym who likes thrusters.  🙂

 

There are so many reasons I love Larry. One being that we complement each other really well. I’m also in the middle of writing my vows which is harder than I thought. All these funny stories come to mind. Funny is great but I need to up the actual FEELINGS part. So feelings will go in vows and funny stories get their place on the blog.

The first time El Nino hit this year, it was dark and stormy for four days straight. San Diego was flooding and people were generally avoiding driving or being stupid by driving with no headlights, driving their cars into unknown depths of “puddles” and flooding their engines. Never would I have believed this when I moved out from Chicago eight years ago, but it is entirely true that mass chaos ensues on the roads during a rainstorm in San Diego. The city has an awful drainage system and equally awful lack of common sense drivers. There are so many accidents and closed roads around the city that it legitimately becomes a pain in the butt to get from point A to point B. Trees are also become a major hazard. They topple onto cars, bisect major roadways and a giant palm frond in the road would be like ramming into a giant branch. I’m telling you about the storm craziness because it set the stage for a weird week. Maybe it was the swirly storm energy in a usually always sunny beach town or maybe the storm was just the backdrop. Either way during this particular week not too long ago a series of equally weird events ensued:

Part I: The Intruder

I got a call from Larry on my drive home from work:

 
Larry in Lord Business tone of voice: I take this as what I’m about to receive is informational in nature and probably time sensitive. “Where are you right now?”

 
Me mimicking Larry’s Lord Business voice in my response. “On my way home from work. Where are you?”

 
“Are you home yet?”

 
“No. Why?”

 
“I got a call from Amazon delivery person who dropped off a package and said our front door is wide open.”

 
Dropping mimic of Lord Business and snapping to. I gasped, “What?!?”

 
“Could you have left the door wide open?”

 
“Well, I mean anything is possible. But I don’t do that. I sometimes put the almond milk in the cabinet and the crackers in the fridge but I don’t leave doors open.”

 
“You did forget to move my car after I reminded you and I got a street cleaning ticket.”

 
“Well, yea there’s those one offs… Well now I’m freaked out. Do I go in? What if someone’s in the apartment? What if they hurt Frankie?”

 
“Call me when you get home. I’ll stay on the phone with you when you go in.”

 
“Okay, love. Call you soon.”

 

 

When I walked up to the front door of our apartment. It was closed and unlocked. The door was not wide open. I called Larry back:

 
“So, the door is closed and unlocked.”

 
“The delivery guy probably shut it out of courtesy. Are you inside?”

 
“No. Baby, I’m scared. I don’t hear Frankie barking. This is why you need to be here!”

 
“He’s probably sleeping. You’re okay, go in and stay on the line.”

 
“Okay, I’m going in.”

 
I opened the door wide before entering letting it swing wide and hit the hinge and didn’t say a word. Drunk on sleep, Frankie staggered down the hall from the back bedroom. I crept over to the knife block and pulled one out. Frankie remained unfazed by seeing me with a kitchen knife in one hand and my cell phone in the other. Worst emotional support dog ever. (Insert eye roll emoji here).

 
“Okay, good news. Dog is safe and he doesn’t seem stressed. So I think we’re fine. However, I still got a knife because you never know.”
“Okay, that’s good. Go check the rooms, the closets, and behind the shower curtains.”

 
“What? I can’t!!

! Baby, I hate this! I hate scary movies.”
Side Note: My roommate leaves her bathroom and room doors closed when she’s gone so I had to open two more doors and check behind two more shower curtains.

 
“You can do this. You do CrossFit every day. Time to put all that lifting to use, baby.”

 
“I don’t actually intend to apply my strength anywhere.”
“Go on. I’ll be right here.”

 
“As what? As witness of my blood curdling scream and death? I’m sweaty. Oh Jesus lord help me.”

 
I slowly turned the knob to my roommate’s room and kicked the door in making the sound of loud GAH- YA sound. Some strange cross between an exhale and Kung Foo movie sound I’d heard once.

 
“Anything?”

 
“No.”

 
“Look in her closet.”

 
“OMG NO! I can’t. Scary. Scary. Scared.”

 
“Go on. I’ll be right here.”

 
“HI_YAA!!! Whew. We good. Closet is clear.”

 
“Okay, shower.”

 
I walked sideways to the part of the shower curtain slightly open. Then did some kind of psycho knife stabbing without looking, air stabbing the fake intruder. Frankie followed me from room to room, tail wagging, as if asking what kind of scavenger hunt are we on?

 
“Shower is clear!” I was gaining the confidence of a regular SWAT team member at this point.

 
“Okay, our shower and closet.”

 
“Clear.”

 
“Okay, back deck?”

 
“Baby, that was not in the original plan!”

 
“Don’t want anyone hiding out there.”

 
“I’m sweaty.”

 
“I know, love, you’re doing great.”

 
I opened the sliding glass door and went “ HELLO!!!!” as loud as I could while kung fu kicking the air. As if the intruder would greet me in return and I’d invite him in for an alcoholic beverage of his choice.

 
“We’re clear.”

 
“Alright. Great job! You did it.”

 
“I’m exhausted.”

F. M. L. (You know what this stands for)

Welp, I knew muscle ups were coming. I have zero excuses as I don’t train them and I have this fear that my right shoulder will continue to cause me great pain if I do.

The workout is:

7-min as many reps as possible of:
– 10 power snatches (75lbs for men, 55lbs for women)
– 3 bar muscle ups

While I could only score 10 reps of the snatches. I did the workout with a band assist and got 4 rounds and 8 snatches. I was surprised at how aerobic the “light” power snatches were. Yes, I should go to gymnastics. I shouldn’t complain that it is a late Thursday evening. I should just go. Note key word: SHOULD.

I was also surprised at how totally jacked up my shoulders and traps were the next day!

The best part of this workout was finding humor in my glaring CrossFit deficiencies. I don’t beat myself up about it. I don’t particularly care to do a muscle up if my messed up shoulder causes me pain in the process. I also don’t want to be someone who backs down from participating because I can’t do something unassisted. If I wish to remain physically active my whole life I’m going to do a lot of things assisted. Am I simply going to be inactive because I can’t do a movement without help?Um, no.  I do love doing what I can and still feeling like I can participate in the open and do it with at least one buddy. Thank gawd, this week’s buddy was Ahron Black who’s commentary makes me lose my shit with laughter.

Until, Thursday you dirty, dirty CrossFit Open!

 

 

The Logistics: Could be a short as 4 minutes or potentially as long as 20 minutes depending on if you completed each round within the time domain. For most (myself included this was going to be short and difficult. In all 5 potential rounds the number of reps for toes to bar and double unders stay the same however the squat clean reps go down while going up in big jumps in weight (way worse for the guys than the girls). I didn’t make it past round 2 so my reflections end there.
Background as an Athlete: I’m not particularly good at blasting out of the gates quickly. I typically do better in longer timed workouts where I can keep a pretty good 75-80% motor. Since training in powerlifting over the past year this has shifted psychologically for me. I am still shitty at sprint work, however, because I’ve gained an increased amount of muscle mass I either have to train sprint work exclusively to keep my reaction times or fast twitch firing or I lumber through a CrossFit workout like a turtle through peanut butter. My confidence now lies more in the lifts and I mentally I have to push myself to hustle to get to the lifts where I can make up some time. I’ve worked hard to be less turtle and strike more of a balance between the hustle of CrossFit and the brute strength of the power lifting world.
Mindset: Nerves were higher than the last open workout because I watched a few disappointments before going. Watching my friend D go before me was most helpful. He consistently got through the double unders around 1:30 which seemed like a good goal to aim for considering the amount of time needed to reset for squat clean singles. The nerves were starting to wreck me over thinking how his toes to bar are much stronger and more consistent than mine. How can I get through the double unders in 1:30 with semi crap toes to bar?

The Workout:
Round 1 in its entirety must be completed within 4 minutes to move on. Tie breaker time taken after the double unders are completed
25 Toes to Bar
5 sets of 5 seems like too many breaks too soon. Went in thinking no more than 10 no less than 5 at a time. Felt great starting out went to 10, then sets of 5 to follow.
50 Double Unders 
Double unders were okay. Breathing is hard.
15 Squat Cleans 85# (starting weight for the women)
Reclaiming breath on each rep. If Dan Bailey did singles there’s no way I’m stringing these together. Focused on shrugging the bar off my shoulders onto the ground. I love any and all opportunities to drop weights from the top. Always have, always will. There is no feeling in my calves. I believe they have died.

Round 2 -4 minute cap. Must be completed by minute 8 to advance to round 3

25 Toes to Bar
Okay, 5s. This seems like a reasonable out of breath time to break these bitches into smaller sets. OH. MY. GAWD. 5 in a row felt like it had taken away 90% of my grip. Ditched the 5s plan. Need. To. Save. Grip. Resorting to 2 at a time with a jump down, one breath, then back on the bar. I finished with singles, jump down, one breath, back on the bar. I’d make a note to practice these more but instead I’ll write: Make friends with T2B. Don’t get frustrated. Stay consistent.
50 Double Unders
My calves are tingling. What the hell have I done? Note: Do not wear 7 mm powerlifting knee sleeves in a CrossFiit open workout. I had cut off circulation to my calves and did not need them for these lighter squat cleans. What was I thinking?!?!!
13 Squat Cleans 115#(women’s weight)
I made it back here? OMG I made it back here! Yipee! Now, grind it out Hannah. 115# feels like 145# when you have no grip, no breath and are now questioning what you think you’re trying to prove. 3 reps into this set of squat cleans and my body burned everywhere. It’s the time I like to call quit, cry, or grit? I know if I quit I’ll cry because that’s not who I am. If I grit it out I may still cry but at least I’m not a quitter (a better option). But if I cry, I may quit and then cry some more because I quit (so put the crying in check). Something about running through the choices helps me find some mental fortitude when the going get’s tough. Grit looks like an ugly pain face. Grit sounds like a bleating cow. Would I do this workout again? Nope. Am I forever bonded with the people who put their metal to the test on this one? Absolutely.

 

I’m still power lifting, but throwing in the added spice of the doing each of the open workouts this year to the best of my ability. Why? Because I’ve never missed an Open and because it’s fun to bond with others who run the gauntlet. It’s also fun to yell, “I’m going to regionals!” and then poll how many assholes, I mean friends, chuckle at this. Is it bothersome I haven’t done as much CrossFit in the past year to even prep? Yeah. But I always think back to when I first joined at the beginning of February 3 years ago. I was 2 ½ weeks in when I did the open scaled and had no idea about the ass kicking I was in for. Shannon was my judge and I got repeatedly hit in the face going after 150 reps of ten pound wall balls for time. I took off for a dating anniversary weekend to Laguna Beach with Larry an hour after completing it and could barely keep my eyes open by 7 pm that evening. Happy Anniversary, Larry! If I survived repeated beating to the face my first year, I’m pretty sure I can handle this.
I always track my workouts in a journal. Usually I write down the workout, the time and if any body part is bothering me or if there is serious deficiency in movements I want to hone in on later. However, after completing 16.1, I wrote down more emotional reactions. Three days later, fully recovered I laughed at what I saw on the page.

2/26/2016  16.1 WHOOO LET’S DO THIS!
25 ft overhead walking lunge with 65# barbell locked out overhead
Pre-judgement: NBD bring it. Post-judge: HOLY SHOULDERS! Note: Core is getting stronger but plenty of room for growth there. Chocolate bar at night probably not helping the sitch.  Learned to hustle these to save shoulders.  Free the shoulders!

8 bar facing burpees
I’d rename this Barfalicious Burpees. Slowed these suckers down to recover and not barf out of dizziness. No regrets on this strategy. Song in my head for rythm, “Slow motion for me, slow motion for me. Burpee slow motion for me.”

 
25ft overhead walking lunge
Forced to find a positive outlook on the way back, at least I got to move forward and not be stuck in place. Lunge treadmill sucks. Hustled this to rhythm of whatever music was playing. Owie shoulders!

 
8 chest to bar pull ups
Remembered my c2b song here, “lean back, lean back, lean back and do the rock away”
If I had fake boobs, today would’ve been the day my implants would’ve exploded. Anything to avoid a no rep. I. Mean. Anything. 
Repeat this sequence for 20 minutes
Darkness enveloped my soul earlier than expected, at the halfway point. I expected to go to my dark place around minute 13-15. Darkness makes me a poetess in my head: A sad, defeated sounding poetess living out my last days in a dank dungeon somewhere medieval. I do not have magic, nor dragons, just the wailing of my sad poem again and again.   Note: You haven’t been in these extremes for a very long time. Fight the darkness. Swim to the surface sooner next week.