I had my first wedding nightmare last night. I was looking at a wedding with dripping flowers, perfect place settings, ambient lighting and I start bawling. Bawling because all I really wanted was pot stickers and Chinese flare. I had been talked into this Father of the Bride looking wedding which was Kimberly Williams perfect wedding, not mine.In the nightmare I proceeded to light the tables on fire and then walk away from the venue like Usher’s “Let it Burn” video. What the hell is happening to me? I feel like teen wolf unable to control the rate at which my fangs and back hair are growing in.

I woke up and hopped on Pinterest in the middle of the night searching Chinese weddings. I got blue and white vases, Asian symbols, all kinds of ideas. It’s not too late, I told myself. I emailed off all sorts of mismatched décor ideas to my mom with reasoning behind each of them.

Hi Mom,

Wouldn’t the blue and white Chinese vases thing be cute? We could change the flower colors, the linens, the lighting just for these. Great ideas by your favorite daughter, right?

Love,

Han

P.S. I know it’s early in the morning that’s why I’m emailing not texting. Love ya!

 

 

Dear Han,

Why are you so concerned with Chinese elements. You’re only half Chinese and your groom is white. Technically you are 3 quarters white wedding.

 

Love,

Mom