proposal

Two and a half years into our relationship, his business was really taking off and it became clear to me that I needed to encourage him to go back to Chicago to lead his team as well as reassure him that I wasn’t going to go anywhere. I’ll never forget the night before he moved back. We were both scared and in tears hoping for the best outcome but internally preparing for the worst. To our surprise, he was happy to be back in the mix with his team and felt more satisfied on a day to day basis. This in turn, translated to a happier Larry and stronger relationship than either of us could have imagined. We didn’t know we were so strong as a couple and while I’m not a religious person, faith played a big role in it.

As our three year anniversary approached, Larry said he wanted plan a weekend getaway for us and that it was a surprise. Most would think, “Oh maybe I’m getting engaged?” Larry had conditioned this thought right out of me. We had been on trips to Paso Robles, Laguna Beach, Cabo San Lucas, Maui and Big Island. On each one of those I thought to be prepared with nails done and planned dressy outfits. As a little girl I’d always wondered what will I be wearing when I get engaged? So as the three year approached I told myself I was going to enjoy the surprise getaway and not worry about whether or not we were going to get engaged. He flew in on a Thursday morning which was unusual because he usually flies in on the same 7:30 pm arrival flight when he comes for the weekend. But he said he wanted to get his hair cut and run a few errands. I kept asking if he was here early if he wanted to go to lunch near my office but he basically said “Sorry, I’m busy.” I was texting him throughout the day with little response. A little butt hurt, I whined to my friend Arti at work. She said to relax and enjoy. I’m glad I listened.

When I arrived home after work, Larry told me we were taking the puppy and to pack warm weather clothes, a jacket and one nice outfit to go out to a nice dinner on Saturday night. Then he said the first stop was Long Beach to see my mom. I cracked a joke about how that’s just where I thought we were going to spend a romantic weekend away but he said we were taking Frankie there and staying overnight to arrive at our final destination on Friday. Friday morning we said goodbye to Mom and Frankie and it wasn’t until he pulled into Long Beach Harbor that I knew we were going to Catalina for the weekend!

The entire weekend he had everything planned and even a secret itinerary typed out he would refer to but I wasn’t allowed to see. We had coffee and ran in the morning, went zip lining in the afternoon and had drinks by the beach in the evening with a dinner we could easily walk to. I couldn’t believe how much thought he’d put into anticipating what I would like to do and giving us plenty of time to just wander together as well.

I was particularly enthralled with the fact that our hotel put on a wine and cheese hour every evening from 4-6 pm. I made sure we booked it back to enjoy some people watching with wine in hand. On Saturday night before we headed to our celebratory dinner I put on a classic black dress and heels. As I was curling my hair and humming to myself, Larry asked me if I would like my anniversary gift. I responded with, “There’s more?!?” In that moment a flash of hope that this was a ring popped into my head. And then I held my breath and watched as he pulled out a necklace box. To compensate and mask my disappointment I fawned over the beautiful pearl necklace I had just received.

“Han, it’s okay,” I told myself. “He loves you so much but it’s not happening. That doesn’t mean this weekend isn’t amazing or you’re not loveable. If you feel that way you’re gonna need to go back to the therapist. Don’t let this rain on your enjoyment of being with your favorite person who has done all of this for you.” Then he said, “I got them because I thought you’d look beautiful in them and every woman should own a nice set of pearls.” I goo goo-ed and ga ga-ed over the necklace and came to the conclusion I was relieved the gift anticipation was over. I got a necklace! Whoo! Time to throw back a little more wine.

Action Steps:

1) Sometimes you gotta let your man take the lead and quit trying to be the boss all the time.

2) Decide what food is so enjoyable to you it will be consumed on vacation. There was a lot of other junk I didn’t eat so I could rock that wine and cheese each night. Trust me.

3) Sometimes you want the ring and you end up with the necklace. Don’t let it spoil your fun!

It has only been a month that I’ve been engaged and every time I wake up and realize I have a fiancé I am reborn as the happiest person on the planet. I finally know what it feels like. For almost twenty years I’ve wondered who I was going to marry, if I’d get a pretty ring, how I’d know he’s the one, what I’d be wearing when he asked, if I’d feel any regret after saying yes. JUST SO MANY QUESTIONS, LONGINGS and hoping to GOD someone might love me enough to one day propose. Turns out that someone is Larry Kiss and boy am I the lucky one in this equation.

I knew Larry was the one for me the night I met him. I didn’t predict that that meant we’d end up engaged but I knew that he was going to have a really hard time shaking me if he tried. He was a REAL MAN in every sense of the phrase: tall, dark and handsome but also self-assured without being boastful and I immediately loved that he conversed with an honesty and quiet confidence. This wasn’t in the usual charming way I’d been accustomed to hearing but more a matter of fact, “I know I want to have kids someday and settle down.” I knew this guy was different because I innately trusted him. It scared me to believe that guy could come as put together as Larry and of course I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t put that to the test. And I move quickly. SO within the first month I cross examined this man and sat back and observed if words and actions aligned. When it all lined up that this guy was legit I knew I had act. I asked him out on a paddle boarding date that turned into drinks, sushi dinner, more drinks, and a movie we both fell asleep in. It was an EPIC first date that set the course of our relationship.

After only six months of dating, we moved in together. Moving in meant having to share and be respectful of another person’s wants and needs within a space. Let’s just say he was better at it than I was. After the first month of moving in together we settled in and enjoyed our sweet life by the beach. It was the first time I ever felt like I had a home. The first time in 29 years I couldn’t wait to be home after work to share a domestic space with him. It was the first time in my adult life I got a Christmas tree and received the best surprise up until this point: He was willing to get weekly allergy shots so we could adopt a puppy. Our world became even brighter when we adopted Frankie, also affectionately known as Schmoopy, Hooey Hoo, and puppy wuppy.

Action Steps:

1) If you think he’s marriage material grill him if you need to. If he truly is, he will still be around and still interested.

2) If the person you are with makes you feel happy to come home and create a home that’s a very good sign.

3) What has he been willing to sacrifice for you? If you can think of a few examples this is evidence he’s not a total self-centered douche bag.

Coach Kiss

Life in Motion

The Proposal (part 2)

The Proposal (part 1)