Ab Wipers

June 15, 2015 / coachkiss / Leave a comment

These suckers are fun dynamic way to work your core. I say suckers because they are tough but highly effective. I use 15 lb plates on a 35 lb barbell for a total of 65 lbs. You want just enough weight so that when you press it up it takes some shoulder stability to hang onto.

How to do it:

Starting on your back with the barbell rolled over you at hip level, raise the barbell with your hips creating a bridge. Then press bar straight above you at eye level with elbows locked out and shoulders squeezed together.

Lift head, neck and shoulders slightly to engage upper abdominals

Straighten and tighten your legs together, point your toes and start at the left end of the barbell.

Using control on the way down bring your feet to lightly tap the ground and lift your legs up to meet the right side of the barbell. HINT: You are making an imaginary V with your straight legs.

Starting at the left, tapping down, and bring feet up right then re-trace your pattern until you are all the way back left again– This is one repetition

Notes:

The barbell demands more stability because the weights are on either side, however you can do this same controlled movement holding your baby or puppy straight up in the air as well. Just make sure you swing the legs wide enough on either end.

My Parents’ Wedding Day

June 2, 2015 / coachkiss / Leave a comment

Mom and Dad’s Wedding Day

My parents aren’t married anymore and I’m totally cool with it. From my perspective their union was very one sided as far as nurturing what makes the other’s spirit soar. It was only a matter of time until the whole thing imploded. They were married for close to 30 years and the end was total destruction. It ripped apart our extended family and left a gaping hole in in my heart and my brothers’ hearts. Seeing as the end was so messy when I look back on these pictures of them on their wedding day I want to know what they loved about each other on that day. I want to know what they pledged whole heartedly on that day to each other. I want to jump inside the heads of the extended family and know how they truly felt about their union. That’s the funny thing about the past, memory, and perspective: The story changes the further you get from it.

Natural beauty

Handsome Groom

Serious Groom

Here’s what I see when I look at mom and dad’s wedding pictures:

They were so attractive. My mom looks like a goddess with long dark hair and my dad looks like a pretty boy band poster boy.
My dad has a look of searching and intensity and a wild eyed look about him. His eyes say it all. He’s not happy with himself. He’s his own worst enemy.
My mom looked like she wanted everything to work and everyone to be happy. Deep down, did she feel in over her head? Did he truly make her happy or did she marry him because she so desperately wanted to make him happy?

I’m not claiming to know the intricacies that go into trying to make a marriage work or if it’s better to recognize its expiration date than to deny happiness. The only thing I do know is I want to try. I want to whole heartedly try spending a lifetime with the person I’ve waited for so long to meet.

What will we remember from our wedding day?

I want to put in the work. Maybe I’m like every other fool who believes in love that lasts a lifetime. I’m typically a skeptical romantic but I’m choosing to put skepticism aside for experience. I want to look back on my life and be glad I took a risk or two instead of sitting safely on the sidelines. I can’t believe I’m choosing tradition. I hope I can remember and capture what my wedding means to me and be able to recount just how much I love my husband and future father of my children. I want to always honor my past because it is what makes my existence unique. It is the fabric of my identity and what makes life interesting.

Beginning Yoga (Again)

June 1, 2015June 1, 2015 / coachkiss / 2 Comments

My yoga mat

Here’s the thing about me and fitness goals: They don’t stick unless I find the joy in them. I love long distance running because it calms me down, I love triathlons because they start with a swim and nothing makes me happier than being in the water, I love CrossFit because I’m continually challenged by a grab bag of movements, and I love power lifting because of the confidence it gives me and the immediate satisfaction I feel with every lift.

For years, I’ve been doing yoga on and off because when I moved to San Diego everyone was doing it and I can never stick with it. I love to lift heavy weights and I recognize if I want to continue to grow and benefit my sport I need to spend time on flexibility. I’ve been pondering why my experience “trying” yoga again and again has led me to think I dislike it? Is it because I didn’t identify with with crowd it attracted? Is it because I feel too ADD to every truly relax? Is it because I didn’t want to be packed into another room with other peoples smells too close to me? Or is it because I wasn’t ready to be open to getting in touch with myself on a deeper level?

Hesitant to set myself up for failure by setting a goal doing yoga x days per week, I started with a visual cue. I unrolled my yoga mat on my bedroom floor. Initially I did it as a reminder to do yoga. But my behavior upon seeing it before I went to bed and first thing when I woke up was interesting. At first, I stepped around it to get to my dresser or closet getting dressed in the morning. Then one night I thought: Why does my mat out mean I have to hold a pose that’s difficult for me? One night I went in and laid on my back in shavasana pose with the bottoms of my feet touching together and just tried to relax. “What are you doing, Hannah? This isn’t even yoga,” I told myself on night one. Now it’s been three weeks and I am looking forward to my nightly shavasana. It is my baby step towards meditation/self awareness. I strongly believe it has increased my creativity and I come out of it almost high that for a few minutes each day I get to exist somewhere between dreams and reality.

Saturday Yoga at Humanity

My next step is trying to make a point to attend CrossFit Humanity’s Saturday yoga session. Katie Dunn is excellent at what she does and is her authentic dog loving self instead of trying to be some uber zen yoga faker. Yoga is difficult and humbling. I’m continuing to use my mat to build awareness with myself and who knows maybe one of these days I’ll feel the pull to start doing poses on my own.

Adventures in Engagement Photos (part 2)

May 31, 2015 / coachkiss / Leave a comment

The day of the photo shoot, signed us both up for the Coronado Navy Bridge run. Why? Because it’s an awesome 4 mile race with friends. I wasn’t going to sit at home and attempt to be pretty all day. A girl’s got to exercise too!

Coronado Navy Bridge Run

We scooted home after crossing the finish line and shortly thereafter I had my first experience getting my makeup done by a professional. Loli Romo is like that edgy cool chick I always wanted to be but didn’t have the guts to try. Or the cool older sister I always wanted. She’s incredible, talented and has been doing NY fashion week and print makeup for years. I was so psyched to get her a recommendation and even more psyched that I liked her as a person.

So I hand over my face and am like, “Girl, you’re the real thing. Do your thing.” She proceeds to take out about fifty blending brushes and buckets of makeup and does her Bob Ross thing. “You want soft trees? Yes, let’s add soft trees to the mountains.” Other thoughts included, why does my face need so much blending? Is it that splotchy? Once complete, I turned and looked in the mirror thinking I might just see J-Lo staring back and instead I saw a shaded clown. “Don’t worry, it’s shocking when you first see it but it photographs like a dream.” Um, was she joking? Am I being punked right now? Remember Han, “YOU are a flexible bride” (insert air quotes motion with fingers here). She then sprayed something magical and slightly wet on my face and the colors settled into a gorgeous better version of my skin with eyes and lips standing out. Voila, freak out avoided! I AM A FLEXIBLE BRIDE!

Larry and I popped a bottle of orange champagne (an engagement gift from a friend) and toasted to a fun shoot. I also casually used the time as a way to be competitive with him and assert the fact that I was going to smoke the photo shoot with my casual cool nature. Here’s the thing with my fiancé, he never engages in competition with me and the joke is always on me. ALWAYS. I had assumed he would be stiff and semi awkward at the shoot so it was my idea to get the bubbly flowing because I certainly didn’t need it but he did.

I was the one who felt awkward in the beginning and followed his lead flirting and leaning and laughing. I asked him if he had a modeling past he never told me about. This has been our relationship in a nutshell, I never give him credit doing stuff outside of working and he always blows me away with how he really is good at everything he puts his mind to.

We arrive at the San Diego Rowing club (location 1 of 2) and Sydney Prather of Crowded Elevator Photography and Alyssa from Alyssa Marie Films met us there. If Loli were that cool older sister I always wanted to have, Sydney was that YOLO younger sister I’d be jealous of. Both Sydney and Alyssa were cool and easy to work with and they let us get into a rhythm of flirting and joking until we forgot they were even there.

Photo credit: Sydney Prather/Crowded Elevator Photography/Alyssa Marie Films

Okay, let’s talk about getting into that rhythm. I think Larry maybe was a model in his past and is just too humble to tell me about it. That man, falls right in on cue and is laughing and flirting and I’m intoxicated on way too much champagne and feeling dialed out of my body as opposed to occupying it. All of my talking crap and this is what I get. Karma. Thankfully, he set the tone and took the lead and I loosened up and we found a rhythm. A major difference between me and Larry: Anything he puts his mind to, he’s always good at. I struggle with the vision and awkwardly stumble through the execution but I will practice endlessly until I feel I’ve got a handle on something. We had fun changing in the car trying not to flash the crowd at Wind n Sea and joking about how rough it is to be a model. The true star of the shoot was Frankie. He ran across the sand digging for crabs and would come up with a snout full of sand and even more sass on his face. If I could’ve let Frankie stand in for me as bride to be, I would have. Afterwards, we went to a nice dinner reserved by a friend and she sent over a bottle of champagne! I was so touched by the kind gesture I started crying and then this bleary eyed picture was snapped.

Cucina Urbana

What I loved about the experience was the unexpected joys I felt and the way in which we both got to exist in the moment. The day itself is like a secret between the three of us and I hope someday my babies look at the photos and daydream about who we were back when we were cool, in love, and without kids.

Action Steps:

1. Don’t talk crap about being better than your fiancé in a photo shoot. Or if you do, be prepared to lose.

2. Sometimes you gotta look like a clown to then look like a photo shoot diva!

3. You’ve prepped, you’ve planned, you’re there. Enjoy the person you’re with and the moments only you two get to experience: the sand beneath your toes and the love in your hearts.

Adventures in Engagement Photos (part 1)

May 28, 2015 / coachkiss / Leave a comment

photo credit: Sydney Prather of Crowded Elevator Photography

Okay, I can hear the voices against couples doing engagement photos: “Engagement photos didn’t exist when the generations before me got married. Who needs that many photos of themselves? How narcissistic…”

I’m loud and proud in saying I love photographs! In part I believe it is because I have a terrible memory and most of my memories are recreated based on photos. I also think it is because photos spark a creativity in me. As a kid I used to pour over my parents wedding album and imagine what they were saying to each other. I wondered who they were way back when before they had kids. I liked to imagine they had this free as a bird, hippie, kind of love. It was old family photographs that made me fall in love with love.

So when it came to engagement photos I found a great deal on recommended photographer, Sydney Prather, of Crowded Elevator Photography, and figured I’d slap together a few outfits, make sure Frankie was with us and we’d call it a photo shoot.

Here’s what surprised me:

Planning for 2 people and a dog to take a photo shoot was a lot more work on the back end than expected.
I had so much fun at this photo shoot! It’s definitely the most fun I’ve had in the road to getting hitched so far.

The checklist started with outfit planning:

Casual outfit 1- me
Casual outfit 1- Larry
Casual outfit 2- me
Casual outfit 2- Larry
Bow tie for entire shoot- Frankie
Dressy outfit 1- me
Dressy outfit 1- Larry

My mom happened to be shopping the dress section at TJ Maxx and scored a black and white romper, orange and white striped nautical looking dress, and embellished LBD (little black dress) she casually wanted me to try on for various occasions. When I went to visit her I was like, “Way to go, Mom! You didn’t even know it but I’m just going to roll with these as my engagement photo looks.” She responded with, “What is Larry wearing?” Ah yes, the “What is Larry wearing?” was the million dollar question. Larry, my love, is incredibly good at passing the buck and distinguishing between what is his realm and what he just doesn’t want to have to determine based on work obligations etc. He gladly handed me the planning and naturally Mom and I hit Macy’s for black slacks, a white button down and a black tie. He had a nice purple shirt and a teal plaid shirt with dark jeans for his two casual looks. Well my job is done here. I thought after a weekend of outfit planning at Mom’s I’d got the rest covered.

Then I realized there’s grooming involved:

Hair trim- Me & Larry
Grooming (puppy cut)- Frankie
Nails- Boys need ‘em trimmed, mani/pedi for me
Hair styling product- Larry
Hair styling tools and product- Me

Getting my hair trimmed sitting in my girlfriend’s styling chair she and the stylist next to her asked me who was doing my make up for my engagement shoot? Naturally, I responded with,

“Me. I do a great job with makeup.” I was met with blank stares (INSERT cricket noises here).

“No, I can’t do my own makeup?”

“Well you can but it’s different in photos you put on way more than you would daily and you look ‘natural.’”

“Oh.”

Action Steps:

1. There’s a legitimate amount of thought that goes into planning a photo shoot. If you’re not into photos it may not be worth it.

2. Network with your trusted girlfriends for photographers, make-up artists and vendors in general. I’m finding some of the coolest small business owners thanks to friend’s recommendations

3. If the future groom trusts you whole heartedly and leaves the planning in your hands it’s often easier than talking through every small decision such as “Is navy and orange too matchy matchy?” or “Does orange and lavender even go together?” Be happy you’ve got the reigns and that he trusts you.

Becoming a Flexible Bride

May 27, 2015May 30, 2015 / coachkiss / Leave a comment

Each night before bed I sit on my yoga mat in the corner of my bedroom and well, I don’t do yoga. I close my eyes and visualize goals. Most recently I’ve been visualizing a lot about my wedding. Having to make a series of big decisions at once has never really been an issue for me but flexibility with a vision has. I’ll admit it’s not easy to veer from an idea of what I want my wedding to look like. The inspirational pictures and web links I’ve saved are like old friends who I’m suddenly disinviting from making their appearance on the big day. Here are a few initial surprise I’ve felt in the planning process thus far:

Surprise #1: I’ve been engaged for almost 2 months and I made some serious moves with my mom and Nai Nai to get a popular venue I’ve had my eye on that I also know books out at least a year in advance. Of course I already had pretty set idea on what colors I envisioned (black, white, gold and fuchsia) but when I saw the space in person the color scheme of the room would clash. I thought about bouncing to a more formal space I thought I wanted black and white with pops of hot pink. The space I chose has natural wood and earth colors (picture the lobby of an earth friendly hotel in Boulder, CO). “YES, I am a flexible bride.” Okay, so lighter colored linens and flowers to lighten up the space it is. And yet I mourned the loss of my loud and proud color friends.

Surprise # 2: After locking in the venue I veered right off Wedding Planning List my Maid of Honor sent me and put down my credit card for a dress on a browsing session: first store, first dress I tried on. I thought I wanted more of a bombshell look and I ended up falling in love with a dress far more traditional. Thinking about it now, I wonder if I’ll regret the purchase by next year? What I love the most about my dress is the way I feel when I’m in it. I feel like a more beautiful version of myself.

Surprise #3: I had no idea it takes six plus months to order and make a wedding dress. Who’s makes these dresses? Tiny little elves spinning white thread out of gold? I assumed all sizes were stocked in the back and I’d stroll out of there with new found prize in hand. Another thing that surprised me dress shopping was the silhouette I chose was not what I envisioned at all. I’d saved all of these pictures of a particular silhouette but when I tried this style on I just didn’t feel like me.

Action Steps:

1) I’ve learned to let go of an overly specific wedding vision. So what if my venue isn’t complimentary with fuchsia, black and white? The bigger question was what was the feeling these colors give me? By adjusting my thinking to choosing floral in a space that still creates elegance but isn’t stuffy helped me to not lose my $%#& completely.

2) If you ARE losing your $%#& completely (visibly or internalizing it) over a particular detail clearly it is important to you. I’d had to choose between original color ideas or venue. If I felt inner turmoil at letting my original colors go I probably would’ve walked from the venue and found a more modern space that fit a more modern color scheme.

3) Be open to trying all types of wedding gowns even if you only save pictures and daydream about one particular silhouette. Be open minded and look for the dress that makes you feel like a more beautiful version of YOU. Not you trying to be Sophia Vergara.

The Proposal (part 2)

May 14, 2015May 30, 2015 / coachkiss / Leave a comment

Two and a half years into our relationship, his business was really taking off and it became clear to me that I needed to encourage him to go back to Chicago to lead his team as well as reassure him that I wasn’t going to go anywhere. I’ll never forget the night before he moved back. We were both scared and in tears hoping for the best outcome but internally preparing for the worst. To our surprise, he was happy to be back in the mix with his team and felt more satisfied on a day to day basis. This in turn, translated to a happier Larry and stronger relationship than either of us could have imagined. We didn’t know we were so strong as a couple and while I’m not a religious person, faith played a big role in it.

As our three year anniversary approached, Larry said he wanted plan a weekend getaway for us and that it was a surprise. Most would think, “Oh maybe I’m getting engaged?” Larry had conditioned this thought right out of me. We had been on trips to Paso Robles, Laguna Beach, Cabo San Lucas, Maui and Big Island. On each one of those I thought to be prepared with nails done and planned dressy outfits. As a little girl I’d always wondered what will I be wearing when I get engaged? So as the three year approached I told myself I was going to enjoy the surprise getaway and not worry about whether or not we were going to get engaged. He flew in on a Thursday morning which was unusual because he usually flies in on the same 7:30 pm arrival flight when he comes for the weekend. But he said he wanted to get his hair cut and run a few errands. I kept asking if he was here early if he wanted to go to lunch near my office but he basically said “Sorry, I’m busy.” I was texting him throughout the day with little response. A little butt hurt, I whined to my friend Arti at work. She said to relax and enjoy. I’m glad I listened.

When I arrived home after work, Larry told me we were taking the puppy and to pack warm weather clothes, a jacket and one nice outfit to go out to a nice dinner on Saturday night. Then he said the first stop was Long Beach to see my mom. I cracked a joke about how that’s just where I thought we were going to spend a romantic weekend away but he said we were taking Frankie there and staying overnight to arrive at our final destination on Friday. Friday morning we said goodbye to Mom and Frankie and it wasn’t until he pulled into Long Beach Harbor that I knew we were going to Catalina for the weekend!

The entire weekend he had everything planned and even a secret itinerary typed out he would refer to but I wasn’t allowed to see. We had coffee and ran in the morning, went zip lining in the afternoon and had drinks by the beach in the evening with a dinner we could easily walk to. I couldn’t believe how much thought he’d put into anticipating what I would like to do and giving us plenty of time to just wander together as well.

I was particularly enthralled with the fact that our hotel put on a wine and cheese hour every evening from 4-6 pm. I made sure we booked it back to enjoy some people watching with wine in hand. On Saturday night before we headed to our celebratory dinner I put on a classic black dress and heels. As I was curling my hair and humming to myself, Larry asked me if I would like my anniversary gift. I responded with, “There’s more?!?” In that moment a flash of hope that this was a ring popped into my head. And then I held my breath and watched as he pulled out a necklace box. To compensate and mask my disappointment I fawned over the beautiful pearl necklace I had just received.

“Han, it’s okay,” I told myself. “He loves you so much but it’s not happening. That doesn’t mean this weekend isn’t amazing or you’re not loveable. If you feel that way you’re gonna need to go back to the therapist. Don’t let this rain on your enjoyment of being with your favorite person who has done all of this for you.” Then he said, “I got them because I thought you’d look beautiful in them and every woman should own a nice set of pearls.” I goo goo-ed and ga ga-ed over the necklace and came to the conclusion I was relieved the gift anticipation was over. I got a necklace! Whoo! Time to throw back a little more wine.

Action Steps:

1) Sometimes you gotta let your man take the lead and quit trying to be the boss all the time.

2) Decide what food is so enjoyable to you it will be consumed on vacation. There was a lot of other junk I didn’t eat so I could rock that wine and cheese each night. Trust me.

3) Sometimes you want the ring and you end up with the necklace. Don’t let it spoil your fun!

I Lift and I Like It (part 1)

May 13, 2015May 30, 2015 / coachkiss / Leave a comment

Photo Credit: Chris Wodjak Photography

“Lifting weights makes you bulky.”

“I don’t want to look too muscular.”

“That’s great that you can lift that much and you don’t look too manly.”

“Wow. I could never do that. I’m not very strong.”

“You do what? You’re too little to do that.”

“I’d have to get in shape first before trying that.”

These are just a handful of excuses that I hear from women about being reluctant to lift weights. Instead, I see them literally running in circles to burn fat and be slim. I was like you, I tell them. If you have the time and you want to listen, I now know a secret. It’s a secret most women, including myself don’t believe until they try: Lifting weights makes you lean, powerful, confident. It changes the way you view yourself and carry yourself through the world.

There is something you need to know about me: I was not an athlete as a kid. I was a social butterfly sports team participant. I was neither fast, nor strong, nor particularly coordinated. The only thing I had going for me was once I set my mind on something I never quit. I was the second to slowest female runner on the cross country team in high school but I trained at every practice and completed every meet. If someone had told me I’d be doing what I’m doing now, I would’ve bet money that I would never be able to accomplish what I have in the world of health and fitness.

I started becoming interested in fitness in college at the University of Wisconsin in 2004. That was where I ran my first 10k and had the thought that someday I’d like to be “fit enough” to run a marathon. In graduate school while living in Chicago, I put my dream into an action plan thanks to a friend who had run one before. He gave me a training schedule swore up and down if I stuck to it I’d get there and we could meet up and run a marathon together. I had six months to build to 20 miles without stopping. I had never run more than 3 miles. I thought okay, I’ll just be disciplined enough to run each day it says run X many miles and I’ll get there. I stuck to the plan and ran my first marathon in 4 hours 15 min up and down the hills of San Francisco.

Action Steps:

1) You didn’t need to be athletic as a kid to get in shape as an adult. It’s never too late

2) Whether you’re big into fitness or looking to get started there’s no right way. Let your journey be your own.

3) As you begin, log your accomplishments no matter how small they may seem. The first time I ever ran more than 3 miles I logged it. Going back to those original logs and reading my sense of pride and confidence fuels me even now.

Coach Kiss

Life in Motion

wedding

Ab Wipers

My Parents’ Wedding Day

Beginning Yoga (Again)

Adventures in Engagement Photos (part 2)

Adventures in Engagement Photos (part 1)

Becoming a Flexible Bride

The Proposal (part 2)

I Lift and I Like It (part 1)