A friend of mine last night said, “Here’s a blog topic for you: How to get your girlfriend to lift.” I laughed and we continued lifting but the seed had been planted. As I was driving home, my fiercely pro independent women voice kept asking why the title was giving me a visceral reaction. I began thinking maybe there’s something inherently WRONG with the statement itself: How to Get Your Girlfriend to Lift. Then I experimented with substituting the action with another action to see if my knee jerk reaction held any weight: How to Get Your Girlfriend to Cook More, How to Get Your Girlfriend to Bake a Thanksgiving Pie, How to Get Your Girlfriend to Move to Chicago, How to Get Your Girlfriend to CrossFit.
The above titles are all bridges Larry and I have crossed none of which ended well for Larry. To prove my point I lit the bridge on fire burned it down afterwards. I’m sorry Larry, I’m working on it. I really am. The thing is, if you have a cool independent girlfriend she doesn’t want to be told by her partner what to do. Period. She can think for herself, make decisions, and she knows what she likes. Based on the above titles, I can tell you I haven’t cooked more, baked a Thanksgiving Pie, or moved to Chicago (yet), but I did try CrossFit almost 3 years ago. How did Larry persuade me? He didn’t. He had been discussing how much he liked while living in Colorado. He mentioned multiple times that he thought I’d get into the high intensity often competitive nature of the thing. And like Charlie Brown’s interpretation of his teacher’s voice, I heard, “WOH WAH WOH WAH, WOH WAH WAH WAH.” Months after he had dropped all the benefits of trying CrossFit and gave up on me wanting to try it my bestie Shannon started telling me about this gym CrossFit Humanity that had just opened. She said, “It’s not exactly in our neighborhood but my favorite coach, Phil, just opened it and I’m leaving CrossFit OB to go there.” All she had to say was, “HAN, I think you’d love it! If you want to go with me and try a class I’ll go whenever you want!” And that weekend we went and tried the free class. Larry’s response, “SERIOUSLY?!??”
If you want your girlfriend to lift, connect her with the female community at your gym and have the women take it from there. If you’re really smart you’ll lay the groundwork with the girls at your gym in the off chance one day your girlfriend wants to try it. I understand the female fears of being new in a gym. It can be cliquey and high school like until you connect with the one OG member who reaches out with a friendly “hello.” Whenever I drop into a new box I feel most nervous about being accepted by the ladies. I don’t really think about the dudes at all. Having grown up attending many schools and moving I know what I have to do socially to “fit in” but it doesn’t mean it’s any less anxiety provoking as an adult.
Men, take note: The best way to “get” your girlfriend to do anything and have it stick–
- a) Let it be her idea
- b) Let the suggestion come from anyone else but you
- c) Be encouraging and patient
- d) If it’s exercise you are trying to motivate her to do provide vocal reassurance that you love her body exactly how it is right this very second and it’s not about THAT