I love a good workout buddy and am generally inspired by other women. I say generally, because I have also felt threatened by other women. However, too often I think women let insecurity get the best of them. I am no exception.  I have encountered women with great gym hair or very little body fat enter and had thoughts of shoving them to the floor. But the truth is, I have spent too much time and energy pre-judging others and all it ever leads to is a downward spiral of self-loathing (the root of feeling threatened in the first place).  So I’d like to ask you this, why can’t a woman have great gym hair and very little body fat? And what if she were helping you push yourself to improve just by working out with her versus against her? Embrace the threat, ladies. It’s totally worth it.

I’m super happy that an original female workout buddy has returned. When she first walked into our gym, she ruffled more than a few female feathers. She is very tan, very muscular, has little body fat, and had a lot of really good hair. Her hair whipped around effortlessly throughout our first workout together while mine crusted onto the back of my neck and side of my face. By the end of our first workout she still looked like fitness Barbie and I looked like swamp thing. I didn’t care because I liked that she pushed herself hard and was unapologetic about showing off her body which she openly touted that she had worked hard for. I had respect for her brazen confidence and because she wasn’t saying she woke up like that.

We worked out almost daily together and found that we had very complimentary skill sets. She was great at short anaerobic workouts and I had a consistent motor to keep chugging without burning out on the longer workouts. Where one struggled the other encouraged.  I get that there’s a fine line between having a girl gym buddy who you feel supports you versus competes with you. But I’ve learned to question why owning the fact that you and your workout buddy are competing against one another is  a bad thing?  Is it because girls aren’t raised to be competitive like boys? What I loved about my relationship with my gym buddy was in the beginning we openly voiced how we were competing with each other.  It worked for us. When she left the gym, I felt a void. That person who I was always neck and neck with wasn’t there. I had to re-evaluate what the hell my goals were other than chasing her and it wasn’t easy. In fact it was really hard because I was forced to grow.

This was when I really started to transition from beginner athlete to one who was more mentally locked in. I had to find intrinsic motivation and for the first time take a look at where I was and set goals for myself. I appreciate and like that I have motivation now no matter who I’m working out with but that doesn’t mean I don’t prefer to surround myself with positive women who push me.