I’m so excited at the thought of having a family! I see all my new mommy friends and am taking notes on what they are doing to stay fit or get back to their fighting weight postpartum. I want to start sharing exercises moms or anyone looking to workout at home can do easily without equipment. I do have a fur baby. His name is Frankie and he weighs approximately 15 lbs on a slim day and closer to 18 lbs on a chunky day. I asked his assistance in the video below to demo how to do a proper squat while holding your baby as weight.
Notes before you try:
Practice your squat first without baby as weight.
Wear flat heeled shoes like converse or a barefoot go.
* Traditional running shoes have a lift in the heel causing you to pitch your weight onto your toes (not what you want in a squat.
How to Squat:
1) Start by widening your stance to hip width (slightly wider than your shoulders). Send your hips back first keeping legs straight until you feel tension in your hamstrings
2) As you start to bend your knees send them out to the sides away from you (avoid your knees going forward over your toes)
3) Slowly lower keeping the chest up and feeling your weight in your mid foot to heel (going barefoot helps you to feel the weight distribution in your foot)
4) It’s okay to start with a squat that is more shallow if that’s what flexibility allows. Over time, work towards a squat depth where hips break below parallel with the thighs
Notes on adding weight to your squat:
Remember your arms are levers. The further away you hold your weight the harder it’s going to be.
Beginner– no weight
Intermediate– Hold baby close at upper chest
Advanced– Hold baby away from your body while still maintaining your chest up throughout the movement.
If I truly care about a goal, it’s a scary thing because I feel vulnerable. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally invested. The goal feels overwhelming and out of reach but once I start taking the baby steps towards it it becomes something I can actually see achieving. In the beginning, I never think I can achieve a big goal. I get overwhelmed and usually don’t go forward out of fear. Where do I start? How do I get there? What if I can’t?
Here’s how I’ve learned to start:
I manifest the goal by visualizing myself achieving it. Whether that’s during shavasana on my yoga mat or random daydreaming at work. I find great power in visualization whether it’s dropping underneath a heavy barbell and catching it in the bottom of a squat or if I have to give a presentation at work.
I find sources of inspiration to stay motivated to keep going. It used to be pictures of super fit women but it was a fleeting temporary motivation. Now I like music, art and even a good quote within access on my phone. Inspiration is motivating, negative self-talk is not. I’m not going to set an alarm that says, “Get up, go hard and get ripped.” Seeing it first thing would make me want to sleep in. I do set alarms that say things like, “Make today great,” “No matter what you are loved,” “No matter what, you are worthwhile.” I wake up and feel good reading them. It sets a positive mindset and I feel like I’m ready to take on the day and do some good throughout.
I stay patient with my progress (no matter how little) and work to block out negative self talk. I appreciate the beauty of training for something that comes down to a single movement or moment. I find that the pressure helps me rise to the occasion.
I wanted to share the video of me missing the 295 lb deadlift on Friday. The last time we tested, I hit 290 lbs but had struggled for it every inch of the way and nearly came close to hitching it up my thighs (a no no in competition). Missing 5 lbs more than my last 1 rep max really made me question if I had what it took to try for 300 lbs.
You can see my face when I gave up mentally. I didn’t think I could fight for it so I didn’t fight for it. After, I was left resting with my thoughts and questioning myself entirely. It is in these moments that an immense amount of mental toughness forms and grit comes into play. All I thought to myself was, “How does my body feel? Do I have enough energy to go again?” The answer, was YES, so I did.
Cue crying like a baby when I hit my goal of 300 pounds. It never seems real even when it’s within 10 lbs in this case until it actually happens. I was overcome with a moment of shock, a floodgate of emotion, and a moment of gratitude. One would think I won an olympic gold medal. And those who wouldn’t understand may think, “What’s with the drama?” That’s the beauty of achieving a personal goal. Only you know the magnitude of the accomplishment because only you remember when you thought it was impossible, when you didn’t want to put in the work but did anyway, when you wondered when it would be your moment.
Action Steps:
1) Set a goal that scares you. One that you really think is too far out of reach.
2) Begin to manifest your goal. Visualize the moment or time frame of achievement. What does your life look like in that context? Visualize the first couple of steps towards your goal. What structures or support do you need to stay consistent?
3) Be kind to yourself (your body, mind, and spirit). Remember that motivation ebbs and flows and so does progress. This doesn’t mean you won’t get there.
4) Put yourself in situations that require you to rise to the occasion more than you normally would. A situation where you are slightly uncomfortable and have to push yourself a little further. Start to build your true grit. Build your mental endurance up for the moment you are required to achieve your goal so that on game day, you’ll be ready.
I spend four days a week lifting heavy. So when I get a day off from lifting, I like to do body weight movements, core, and running work. This movement is one of my favorites! It requires stabilization as well as control of movement. It is a bit more advanced so if you’ve been doing a lot of sit ups and planks this is a nice next step up in difficulty. Burn baby, burn!
Action Steps:
1) Take your time on these. Check in with yourself to see if you feel your core, glutes, arms and thighs engaged.
2) Try to keep the wrists as straight as you can.
3) Set the shoulders so they don’t get pulled out of joint. Imagine you are pinching a pencil vertically between your shoulder blades setting them up, back and down.
4) Try and keep hips parallel to the floor. Hips open!
Prior getting into strength training, accessory work was actually the only kind of strength work I did at my 24 Hour Fitness gym. It was an easy way for me to become aware of my body and how to work different muscle groups without much equipment. I always enjoy learning new effective accessory movements so I wanted to share one with you. This movement is also a great one for new moms who can do it anywhere using your child instead of a weight plate and any two even flat surfaces that can support your weight.
The three main lifts I currently train are the back squat, bench press, and deadlift. However, to continue to train the main muscles I use there is also programmed accessory work I follow. The purpose of accessory work is to complement the primary movement. I did these after heavy squats. The Chinese arch is a static movement that brings blood flow back to the low back and works on strengthening your posterior chain and core. It’s really simple and very effective.
What you need:
2 benches or same height flat surfaces
1 weight plate between 15-35 lbs
How to do the movement:
Suspend your body between the two benches with shoulders placed on one and ankles on the other
Gently place weight plate on your hip crease
Tighten glutes and core to raise hips to so body is completely flat
My parents aren’t married anymore and I’m totally cool with it. From my perspective their union was very one sided as far as nurturing what makes the other’s spirit soar. It was only a matter of time until the whole thing imploded. They were married for close to 30 years and the end was total destruction. It ripped apart our extended family and left a gaping hole in in my heart and my brothers’ hearts. Seeing as the end was so messy when I look back on these pictures of them on their wedding day I want to know what they loved about each other on that day. I want to know what they pledged whole heartedly on that day to each other. I want to jump inside the heads of the extended family and know how they truly felt about their union. That’s the funny thing about the past, memory, and perspective: The story changes the further you get from it.
Natural beauty
Handsome Groom
Serious Groom
Here’s what I see when I look at mom and dad’s wedding pictures:
They were so attractive. My mom looks like a goddess with long dark hair and my dad looks like a pretty boy band poster boy.
My dad has a look of searching and intensity and a wild eyed look about him. His eyes say it all. He’s not happy with himself. He’s his own worst enemy.
My mom looked like she wanted everything to work and everyone to be happy. Deep down, did she feel in over her head? Did he truly make her happy or did she marry him because she so desperately wanted to make him happy?
I’m not claiming to know the intricacies that go into trying to make a marriage work or if it’s better to recognize its expiration date than to deny happiness. The only thing I do know is I want to try. I want to whole heartedly try spending a lifetime with the person I’ve waited for so long to meet.
What will we remember from our wedding day?
I want to put in the work. Maybe I’m like every other fool who believes in love that lasts a lifetime. I’m typically a skeptical romantic but I’m choosing to put skepticism aside for experience. I want to look back on my life and be glad I took a risk or two instead of sitting safely on the sidelines. I can’t believe I’m choosing tradition. I hope I can remember and capture what my wedding means to me and be able to recount just how much I love my husband and future father of my children. I want to always honor my past because it is what makes my existence unique. It is the fabric of my identity and what makes life interesting.
Here’s the thing about me and fitness goals: They don’t stick unless I find the joy in them. I love long distance running because it calms me down, I love triathlons because they start with a swim and nothing makes me happier than being in the water, I love CrossFit because I’m continually challenged by a grab bag of movements, and I love power lifting because of the confidence it gives me and the immediate satisfaction I feel with every lift.
For years, I’ve been doing yoga on and off because when I moved to San Diego everyone was doing it and I can never stick with it. I love to lift heavy weights and I recognize if I want to continue to grow and benefit my sport I need to spend time on flexibility. I’ve been pondering why my experience “trying” yoga again and again has led me to think I dislike it? Is it because I didn’t identify with with crowd it attracted? Is it because I feel too ADD to every truly relax? Is it because I didn’t want to be packed into another room with other peoples smells too close to me? Or is it because I wasn’t ready to be open to getting in touch with myself on a deeper level?
Hesitant to set myself up for failure by setting a goal doing yoga x days per week, I started with a visual cue. I unrolled my yoga mat on my bedroom floor. Initially I did it as a reminder to do yoga. But my behavior upon seeing it before I went to bed and first thing when I woke up was interesting. At first, I stepped around it to get to my dresser or closet getting dressed in the morning. Then one night I thought: Why does my mat out mean I have to hold a pose that’s difficult for me? One night I went in and laid on my back in shavasana pose with the bottoms of my feet touching together and just tried to relax. “What are you doing, Hannah? This isn’t even yoga,” I told myself on night one. Now it’s been three weeks and I am looking forward to my nightly shavasana. It is my baby step towards meditation/self awareness. I strongly believe it has increased my creativity and I come out of it almost high that for a few minutes each day I get to exist somewhere between dreams and reality.
Saturday Yoga at Humanity
My next step is trying to make a point to attend CrossFit Humanity’s Saturday yoga session. Katie Dunn is excellent at what she does and is her authentic dog loving self instead of trying to be some uber zen yoga faker. Yoga is difficult and humbling. I’m continuing to use my mat to build awareness with myself and who knows maybe one of these days I’ll feel the pull to start doing poses on my own.
The day of the photo shoot, signed us both up for the Coronado Navy Bridge run. Why? Because it’s an awesome 4 mile race with friends. I wasn’t going to sit at home and attempt to be pretty all day. A girl’s got to exercise too!
Coronado Navy Bridge Run
We scooted home after crossing the finish line and shortly thereafter I had my first experience getting my makeup done by a professional. Loli Romo is like that edgy cool chick I always wanted to be but didn’t have the guts to try. Or the cool older sister I always wanted. She’s incredible, talented and has been doing NY fashion week and print makeup for years. I was so psyched to get her a recommendation and even more psyched that I liked her as a person.
So I hand over my face and am like, “Girl, you’re the real thing. Do your thing.” She proceeds to take out about fifty blending brushes and buckets of makeup and does her Bob Ross thing. “You want soft trees? Yes, let’s add soft trees to the mountains.” Other thoughts included, why does my face need so much blending? Is it that splotchy? Once complete, I turned and looked in the mirror thinking I might just see J-Lo staring back and instead I saw a shaded clown. “Don’t worry, it’s shocking when you first see it but it photographs like a dream.” Um, was she joking? Am I being punked right now? Remember Han, “YOU are a flexible bride” (insert air quotes motion with fingers here). She then sprayed something magical and slightly wet on my face and the colors settled into a gorgeous better version of my skin with eyes and lips standing out. Voila, freak out avoided! I AM A FLEXIBLE BRIDE!
Larry and I popped a bottle of orange champagne (an engagement gift from a friend) and toasted to a fun shoot. I also casually used the time as a way to be competitive with him and assert the fact that I was going to smoke the photo shoot with my casual cool nature. Here’s the thing with my fiancé, he never engages in competition with me and the joke is always on me. ALWAYS. I had assumed he would be stiff and semi awkward at the shoot so it was my idea to get the bubbly flowing because I certainly didn’t need it but he did.
I was the one who felt awkward in the beginning and followed his lead flirting and leaning and laughing. I asked him if he had a modeling past he never told me about. This has been our relationship in a nutshell, I never give him credit doing stuff outside of working and he always blows me away with how he really is good at everything he puts his mind to.
We arrive at the San Diego Rowing club (location 1 of 2) and Sydney Prather of Crowded Elevator Photography and Alyssa from Alyssa Marie Films met us there. If Loli were that cool older sister I always wanted to have, Sydney was that YOLO younger sister I’d be jealous of. Both Sydney and Alyssa were cool and easy to work with and they let us get into a rhythm of flirting and joking until we forgot they were even there.
Photo credit: Sydney Prather/Crowded Elevator Photography/Alyssa Marie Films
Okay, let’s talk about getting into that rhythm. I think Larry maybe was a model in his past and is just too humble to tell me about it. That man, falls right in on cue and is laughing and flirting and I’m intoxicated on way too much champagne and feeling dialed out of my body as opposed to occupying it. All of my talking crap and this is what I get. Karma. Thankfully, he set the tone and took the lead and I loosened up and we found a rhythm. A major difference between me and Larry: Anything he puts his mind to, he’s always good at. I struggle with the vision and awkwardly stumble through the execution but I will practice endlessly until I feel I’ve got a handle on something. We had fun changing in the car trying not to flash the crowd at Wind n Sea and joking about how rough it is to be a model. The true star of the shoot was Frankie. He ran across the sand digging for crabs and would come up with a snout full of sand and even more sass on his face. If I could’ve let Frankie stand in for me as bride to be, I would have. Afterwards, we went to a nice dinner reserved by a friend and she sent over a bottle of champagne! I was so touched by the kind gesture I started crying and then this bleary eyed picture was snapped.
Cucina Urbana
What I loved about the experience was the unexpected joys I felt and the way in which we both got to exist in the moment. The day itself is like a secret between the three of us and I hope someday my babies look at the photos and daydream about who we were back when we were cool, in love, and without kids.
Action Steps:
1. Don’t talk crap about being better than your fiancé in a photo shoot. Or if you do, be prepared to lose.
2. Sometimes you gotta look like a clown to then look like a photo shoot diva!
3. You’ve prepped, you’ve planned, you’re there. Enjoy the person you’re with and the moments only you two get to experience: the sand beneath your toes and the love in your hearts.
photo credit: Sydney Prather of Crowded Elevator Photography
Okay, I can hear the voices against couples doing engagement photos: “Engagement photos didn’t exist when the generations before me got married. Who needs that many photos of themselves? How narcissistic…”
I’m loud and proud in saying I love photographs! In part I believe it is because I have a terrible memory and most of my memories are recreated based on photos. I also think it is because photos spark a creativity in me. As a kid I used to pour over my parents wedding album and imagine what they were saying to each other. I wondered who they were way back when before they had kids. I liked to imagine they had this free as a bird, hippie, kind of love. It was old family photographs that made me fall in love with love.
So when it came to engagement photos I found a great deal on recommended photographer, Sydney Prather, of Crowded Elevator Photography, and figured I’d slap together a few outfits, make sure Frankie was with us and we’d call it a photo shoot.
Here’s what surprised me:
Planning for 2 people and a dog to take a photo shoot was a lot more work on the back end than expected.
I had so much fun at this photo shoot! It’s definitely the most fun I’ve had in the road to getting hitched so far.
The checklist started with outfit planning:
Casual outfit 1- me
Casual outfit 1- Larry
Casual outfit 2- me
Casual outfit 2- Larry
Bow tie for entire shoot- Frankie
Dressy outfit 1- me
Dressy outfit 1- Larry
My mom happened to be shopping the dress section at TJ Maxx and scored a black and white romper, orange and white striped nautical looking dress, and embellished LBD (little black dress) she casually wanted me to try on for various occasions. When I went to visit her I was like, “Way to go, Mom! You didn’t even know it but I’m just going to roll with these as my engagement photo looks.” She responded with, “What is Larry wearing?” Ah yes, the “What is Larry wearing?” was the million dollar question. Larry, my love, is incredibly good at passing the buck and distinguishing between what is his realm and what he just doesn’t want to have to determine based on work obligations etc. He gladly handed me the planning and naturally Mom and I hit Macy’s for black slacks, a white button down and a black tie. He had a nice purple shirt and a teal plaid shirt with dark jeans for his two casual looks. Well my job is done here. I thought after a weekend of outfit planning at Mom’s I’d got the rest covered.
Then I realized there’s grooming involved:
Hair trim- Me & Larry
Grooming (puppy cut)- Frankie
Nails- Boys need ‘em trimmed, mani/pedi for me
Hair styling product- Larry
Hair styling tools and product- Me
Getting my hair trimmed sitting in my girlfriend’s styling chair she and the stylist next to her asked me who was doing my make up for my engagement shoot? Naturally, I responded with,
“Me. I do a great job with makeup.” I was met with blank stares (INSERT cricket noises here).
“No, I can’t do my own makeup?”
“Well you can but it’s different in photos you put on way more than you would daily and you look ‘natural.’”
“Oh.”
Action Steps:
1. There’s a legitimate amount of thought that goes into planning a photo shoot. If you’re not into photos it may not be worth it.
2. Network with your trusted girlfriends for photographers, make-up artists and vendors in general. I’m finding some of the coolest small business owners thanks to friend’s recommendations
3. If the future groom trusts you whole heartedly and leaves the planning in your hands it’s often easier than talking through every small decision such as “Is navy and orange too matchy matchy?” or “Does orange and lavender even go together?” Be happy you’ve got the reigns and that he trusts you.
Each night before bed I sit on my yoga mat in the corner of my bedroom and well, I don’t do yoga. I close my eyes and visualize goals. Most recently I’ve been visualizing a lot about my wedding. Having to make a series of big decisions at once has never really been an issue for me but flexibility with a vision has. I’ll admit it’s not easy to veer from an idea of what I want my wedding to look like. The inspirational pictures and web links I’ve saved are like old friends who I’m suddenly disinviting from making their appearance on the big day. Here are a few initial surprise I’ve felt in the planning process thus far:
Surprise #1: I’ve been engaged for almost 2 months and I made some serious moves with my mom and Nai Nai to get a popular venue I’ve had my eye on that I also know books out at least a year in advance. Of course I already had pretty set idea on what colors I envisioned (black, white, gold and fuchsia) but when I saw the space in person the color scheme of the room would clash. I thought about bouncing to a more formal space I thought I wanted black and white with pops of hot pink. The space I chose has natural wood and earth colors (picture the lobby of an earth friendly hotel in Boulder, CO). “YES, I am a flexible bride.” Okay, so lighter colored linens and flowers to lighten up the space it is. And yet I mourned the loss of my loud and proud color friends.
Surprise # 2: After locking in the venue I veered right off Wedding Planning List my Maid of Honor sent me and put down my credit card for a dress on a browsing session: first store, first dress I tried on. I thought I wanted more of a bombshell look and I ended up falling in love with a dress far more traditional. Thinking about it now, I wonder if I’ll regret the purchase by next year? What I love the most about my dress is the way I feel when I’m in it. I feel like a more beautiful version of myself.
Surprise #3: I had no idea it takes six plus months to order and make a wedding dress. Who’s makes these dresses? Tiny little elves spinning white thread out of gold? I assumed all sizes were stocked in the back and I’d stroll out of there with new found prize in hand. Another thing that surprised me dress shopping was the silhouette I chose was not what I envisioned at all. I’d saved all of these pictures of a particular silhouette but when I tried this style on I just didn’t feel like me.
Action Steps:
1) I’ve learned to let go of an overly specific wedding vision. So what if my venue isn’t complimentary with fuchsia, black and white? The bigger question was what was the feeling these colors give me? By adjusting my thinking to choosing floral in a space that still creates elegance but isn’t stuffy helped me to not lose my $%#& completely.
2) If you ARE losing your $%#& completely (visibly or internalizing it) over a particular detail clearly it is important to you. I’d had to choose between original color ideas or venue. If I felt inner turmoil at letting my original colors go I probably would’ve walked from the venue and found a more modern space that fit a more modern color scheme.
3) Be open to trying all types of wedding gowns even if you only save pictures and daydream about one particular silhouette. Be open minded and look for the dress that makes you feel like a more beautiful version of YOU. Not you trying to be Sophia Vergara.
Without emotional health there is no health. So let’s talk emotional health while traveling on a plane, shall we? Yesterday I flew to Philadelphia on the first flight of the morning. Here’s my issue with crack of dawn flights: The day before flying, as soon as I clock out at work, I’m like “Whoop whoop! I’m on vacation.” I ALWAYS have to express my newfound freedom from a consistent schedule by staying up as late as possible. Last night after work I worked out, went to dinner with friends, packed, re-organized my purse, cleaned my ring, watched Game of Thrones, flipped through magazines, re-watched Game of Thrones because I wasn’t paying good enough attention and did laundry. This took me right up until 11:45 pm. I get the biggest high staying up past my bedtime on vacation days. Freedom is important to me, apparently.
As a result, when my alarm went off at 430 am there was no amount of coffee I could chug to keep me from feeling like I was hung over I was so tired. By the time I waited to board at 600 am, it felt like lunch time to my body. I could feel the Grumpapotamos rising inside as I noticed the insane crowd around me with the same objective: board this plane ASAP to get space for my carry on and sleep off this hang over feeling. Now remember, I’m heading to Philly, where I’ve recently learned, all kinds of characters are made. One guy was clogging up the line dancing to blaring music in his headphones. The guys behind him started yelling at him to “move it” as if they could compete with the volume of what I’d guess to be reggae music by the sway in his dance moves. To make matters worse he was making it super awkward for people to pass him because he was dancing in a lateral fashion. I have minimal patience for crowds, slow walking people in front of me, and general a$$holes in airports. People were cutting each other in line and arguing for overhead compartment space once on the plane.
In times like this one, I like to play a game with myself called Aloha Spirit. If you’ve ever seen a plane loading to take off for Hawaii ain’t no one in a rush. They line up neatly and will always allow people who were not paying attention to the boarding calls step in front of them. Aloha spirit game is defined as me repeating “Aloha Oe” song over and over in my head to calm myself down and not react to the chaos surrounding me. The chorus goes, “Aloha Oe, Aloha Oe, until we meet again!” When Aloha Spirit doesn’t work, thank God there’s chocolate in my nut mixes.
Action Steps
1) Practice healthy habits so you do feel less like coming unhinged when someone cuts you in line to bored
2) If you do experience an flare up of anger ask yourself: Is this a fight worth fighting for?
3) If you’re traveling with your partner, friends or family be kind. It’s your responsibility to not take your frustrations out on them just because you’re HANGRY.
