bride

Ab Wipers

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These suckers are fun dynamic way to work your core. I say suckers because they are tough but highly effective. I use 15 lb plates on a 35 lb barbell for a total of 65 lbs. You want just enough weight so that when you press it up it takes some shoulder stability to hang onto.

 

How to do it:

Starting on your back with the barbell rolled over you at hip level, raise the barbell with your hips creating a bridge. Then press bar straight above you at eye level with elbows locked out and shoulders squeezed together.

Lift head, neck and shoulders slightly to engage upper abdominals

Straighten and tighten your legs together, point your toes and start at the left end of the barbell.

Using control on the way down bring your feet to lightly tap the ground and lift your legs up to meet the right side of the barbell. HINT: You are making an imaginary V with your straight legs.

Starting at the left, tapping down, and bring feet up right then re-trace your pattern until you are all the way back left again– This is one repetition

Notes:

The barbell demands more stability because the weights are on either side, however you can do this same controlled movement holding your baby or puppy straight up in the air as well. Just make sure you swing the legs wide enough on either end.

Becoming a Flexible Bride

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Each night before bed I sit on my yoga mat in the corner of my bedroom and well, I don’t do yoga. I close my eyes and visualize goals. Most recently I’ve been visualizing a lot about my wedding. Having to make a series of big decisions at once has never really been an issue for me but flexibility with a vision has. I’ll admit it’s not easy to veer from an idea of what I want my wedding to look like. The inspirational pictures and web links I’ve saved are like old friends who I’m suddenly disinviting from making their appearance on the big day. Here are a few initial surprise I’ve felt in the planning process thus far:

Surprise #1: I’ve been engaged for almost 2 months and I made some serious moves with my mom and Nai Nai to get a popular venue I’ve had my eye on that I also know books out at least a year in advance. Of course I already had pretty set idea on what colors I envisioned (black, white, gold and fuchsia) but when I saw the space in person the color scheme of the room would clash. I thought about bouncing to a more formal space I thought I wanted black and white with pops of hot pink. The space I chose has natural wood and earth colors (picture the lobby of an earth friendly hotel in Boulder, CO). “YES, I am a flexible bride.” Okay, so lighter colored linens and flowers to lighten up the space it is. And yet I mourned the loss of my loud and proud color friends.

black and white table

Surprise # 2: After locking in the venue I veered right off Wedding Planning List my Maid of Honor sent me and put down my credit card for a dress on a browsing session: first store, first dress I tried on. I thought I wanted more of a bombshell look and I ended up falling in love with a dress far more traditional. Thinking about it now, I wonder if I’ll regret the purchase by next year? What I love the most about my dress is the way I feel when I’m in it. I feel like a more beautiful version of myself.

sofia-vergara-white-dress-emmys-2014-h724

Surprise #3: I had no idea it takes six plus months to order and make a wedding dress. Who’s makes these dresses? Tiny little elves spinning white thread out of gold? I assumed all sizes were stocked in the back and I’d stroll out of there with new found prize in hand. Another thing that surprised me dress shopping was the silhouette I chose was not what I envisioned at all. I’d saved all of these pictures of a particular silhouette but when I tried this style on I just didn’t feel like me.

Action Steps:

1) I’ve learned to let go of an overly specific wedding vision. So what if my venue isn’t complimentary with fuchsia, black and white? The bigger question was what was the feeling these colors give me? By adjusting my thinking to choosing floral in a space that still creates elegance but isn’t stuffy helped me to not lose my $%#& completely.

2) If you ARE losing your $%#& completely (visibly or internalizing it) over a particular detail clearly it is important to you.  I’d had to choose between original color ideas or venue. If I felt inner turmoil at letting my original colors go I probably would’ve walked from the venue and found a more modern space that fit a more modern color scheme.

3) Be open to trying all types of wedding gowns even if you only save pictures and daydream about one particular silhouette. Be open minded and look for the dress that makes you feel like a more beautiful version of YOU. Not you trying to be Sophia Vergara.

I Lift and I Like It (part 3)

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After my first class I felt like I had a coach who was compassionate and heard my needs. I also realized as fit as I thought I was I had no upper body strength. I was unable to pull up my body weight and able to only do two push-ups without putting my knees (insert grade school taunting here: “You do push ups like a girl”). It was then that it dawned on me: If I’m as fit as I think I am, I should be able to pull up my own weight.

I still thought lifting heavy weights with a barbell was unfeminine but decided to join to be able to conquer the body weight movements and gain some upper body strength. Looking back, I think I really joined because I saw one or two super strong fit female members and I wanted to see if I could ever be like them.  My first year I loved going to CrossFit Humanity and taking as many CrossFit classes as I could. Like endurance sport training, I didn’t have to come up with a random gym routine, the programming was all done for me but even better than my endurance sport background was it didn’t over work the same muscle groups. It was also the first time I became aware of my soft core. I ran with a soft core, I swam with a soft core, I biked with a soft core. When a Strength and Conditioning class began I decided to give that a go and found how much I enjoyed the act of lifting a heavy barbell. With each small gain my confidence increased as well as my appetite for a challenge. I was still worried I’d look manly but I noticed the harder I pushed myself the opposite occurred: my waist shrank, my overall body fat decreased significantly and my body shape began to change into that of an athlete: my lats grew, I had visible traps, shapely quads and hamstrings, but I still looked feminine. I was getting compliments from my family and at almost 30 years old was kicking myself for not lifting weights sooner. As my confidence grew so did my curiosity for competing. The first team competition I did was a last minute fill in for Pete’s Paleo team. It was at least 80 degrees at La Jolla High School and while we got our butts annihilated, I loved being a contributing member of a team putting in work.

Last year, a power lifting coach, Sal Ocampo, joined our gym and was training three girls for a November lifting meet. Three weeks prior to the meet one of the girls couldn’t do it and the coach asked me to take her place. I was thrilled to be exposed to power lifting. At this meet I saw all sorts of female body types and was stunned to see some of the most petite girls moving huge amounts of weight. Since then, I’ve trained seriously for and competed in 2 more powerlifting meets and an Olympic weightlifting meet. I currently deadlift 290 lbs, back squat 240 lbs and bench press 133 lbs. I am 5’4” and weigh 133 lbs. Not only am I the leanest I’ve ever been but the byproduct of all of this lifting has been an exponential growth in confidence: the way I carry myself, the way I own a space when I walk in a room, the way I pose for photographs instead of hiding half of my body behind someone else.

CrossFit showed me I was strong and power lifting has taken my fitness journey to a whole new level. Gaining strength has increased my CrossFit abilities. As a personal trainer and CrossFit coach, it is always the top of my list to encourage women to quiet their fears and put the body image thoughts in a time out to just try. You can try with me as your trainer or without me, but please, TRY. You don’t get big from lifting big weight you lose fat and lean out. You get big based on whether or not you have a healthy relationship with food and an understanding of what it means to eat clean. If you love to run or hike or do triathlons don’t give that up but discover how adding weightlifting will make you faster and stronger in whatever sport you play. Still skeptical? Don’t worry, I was too. I believe strong women change the world and if all you need is information and a little encouragement I want to be the one to show you what I’ve discovered because I’m never looking back.

Action Steps:

1) You don’t get big from lifting weights. You get huge from eating crap or a combination of both.

2) Building strength builds confidence. Who doesn’t want a little more of that?

3) Try is a polite way of saying be CONSISTENT with your new training program and give it enough time to take effect. Then decide if it’s right for you.

The Proposal (part 1)

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beach couple

It has only been a month that I’ve been engaged and every time I wake up and realize I have a fiancé I am reborn as the happiest person on the planet. I finally know what it feels like. For almost twenty years I’ve wondered who I was going to marry, if I’d get a pretty ring, how I’d know he’s the one, what I’d be wearing when he asked, if I’d feel any regret after saying yes. JUST SO MANY QUESTIONS, LONGINGS and hoping to GOD someone might love me enough to one day propose. Turns out that someone is Larry Kiss and boy am I the lucky one in this equation.

I knew Larry was the one for me the night I met him. I didn’t predict that that meant we’d end up engaged but I knew that he was going to have a really hard time shaking me if he tried. He was a REAL MAN in every sense of the phrase: tall, dark and handsome but also self-assured without being boastful and I immediately loved that he conversed with an honesty and quiet confidence.  This wasn’t in the usual charming way I’d been accustomed to hearing but more a matter of fact, “I know I want to have kids someday and settle down.” I knew this guy was different because I innately trusted him. It scared me to believe that guy could come as put together as Larry and of course I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t put that to the test.  And I move quickly. SO within the first month I cross examined this man and sat back and observed if words and actions aligned. When it all lined up that this guy was legit I knew I had act. I asked him out on a paddle boarding date that turned into drinks, sushi dinner, more drinks, and a movie we both fell asleep in. It was an EPIC first date that set the course of our relationship.

After only six months of dating, we moved in together. Moving in meant having to share and be respectful of another person’s wants and needs within a space. Let’s just say he was better at it than I was. After the first month of moving in together we settled in and enjoyed our sweet life by the beach. It was the first time I ever felt like I had a home. The first time in 29 years I couldn’t wait to be home after work to share a domestic space with him. It was the first time in my adult life I got a Christmas tree and received the best surprise up until this point:frankie in car l's lap He was willing to get weekly allergy shots so we could adopt a puppy.  Our world became even brighter when we adopted Frankie, also affectionately known as Schmoopy, Hooey Hoo, and puppy wuppy.

Action Steps:

1) If you think he’s marriage material grill him if you need to. If he truly is, he will still be around and still interested.

2) If the person you are with makes you feel happy to come home and create a home that’s a very good sign.

3) What has he been willing to sacrifice for you? If you can think of a few examples this is evidence he’s not a total self-centered douche bag.

I Lift and I Like It (part 1)

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lunging

Photo Credit: Chris Wodjak Photography

“Lifting weights makes you bulky.”

“I don’t want to look too muscular.”

“That’s great that you can lift that much and you don’t look too manly.”

“Wow. I could never do that. I’m not very strong.”

“You do what? You’re too little to do that.”

“I’d have to get in shape first before trying that.”

These are just a handful of excuses that I hear from women about being reluctant to lift weights. Instead, I see them literally running in circles to burn fat and be slim. I was like you, I tell them. If you have the time and you want to listen, I now know a secret. It’s a secret most women, including myself don’t believe until they try: Lifting weights makes you lean, powerful, confident. It changes the way you view yourself and carry yourself through the world.

There is something you need to know about me: I was not an athlete as a kid. I was a social butterfly sports team participant. I was neither fast, nor strong, nor particularly coordinated. The only thing I had going for me was once I set my mind on something I never quit. I was the second to slowest female runner on the cross country team in high school but I trained at every practice and completed every meet. If someone had told me I’d be doing what I’m doing now, I would’ve bet money that I would never be able to accomplish what I have in the world of health and fitness.

I started becoming interested in fitness in college at the University of Wisconsin in 2004. That was where I ran my first 10k and had the thought that someday I’d like to be “fit enough” to run a marathon. In graduate school while living in Chicago, I put my dream into an action plan thanks to a friend who had run one before. He gave me a training schedule swore up and down if I stuck to it I’d get there and we could meet up and run a marathon together. I had six months to build to 20 miles without stopping. I had never run more than 3 miles. I thought okay, I’ll just be disciplined enough to run each day it says run X many miles and I’ll get there. I stuck to the plan and ran my first marathon in 4 hours 15 min up and down the hills of San Francisco.

Action Steps:

1) You didn’t need to be athletic as a kid to get in shape as an adult. It’s never too late

2) Whether you’re big into fitness or looking to get started there’s no right way. Let your journey be your own.

3) As you begin, log your accomplishments no matter how small they may seem. The first time I ever ran more than 3 miles I logged it. Going back to those original logs and reading my sense of pride and confidence fuels me even now.