Two and a half years into our relationship, his business was really taking off and it became clear to me that I needed to encourage him to go back to Chicago to lead his team as well as reassure him that I wasn’t going to go anywhere. I’ll never forget the night before he moved back. We were both scared and in tears hoping for the best outcome but internally preparing for the worst. To our surprise, he was happy to be back in the mix with his team and felt more satisfied on a day to day basis. This in turn, translated to a happier Larry and stronger relationship than either of us could have imagined. We didn’t know we were so strong as a couple and while I’m not a religious person, faith played a big role in it.

As our three year anniversary approached, Larry said he wanted plan a weekend getaway for us and that it was a surprise. Most would think, “Oh maybe I’m getting engaged?” Larry had conditioned this thought right out of me. We had been on trips to Paso Robles, Laguna Beach, Cabo San Lucas, Maui and Big Island. On each one of those I thought to be prepared with nails done and planned dressy outfits. As a little girl I’d always wondered what will I be wearing when I get engaged? So as the three year approached I told myself I was going to enjoy the surprise getaway and not worry about whether or not we were going to get engaged. He flew in on a Thursday morning which was unusual because he usually flies in on the same 7:30 pm arrival flight when he comes for the weekend. But he said he wanted to get his hair cut and run a few errands. I kept asking if he was here early if he wanted to go to lunch near my office but he basically said “Sorry, I’m busy.” I was texting him throughout the day with little response. A little butt hurt, I whined to my friend Arti at work. She said to relax and enjoy. I’m glad I listened.

When I arrived home after work, Larry told me we were taking the puppy and to pack warm weather clothes, a jacket and one nice outfit to go out to a nice dinner on Saturday night. Then he said the first stop was Long Beach to see my mom. I cracked a joke about how that’s just where I thought we were going to spend a romantic weekend away but he said we were taking Frankie there and staying overnight to arrive at our final destination on Friday. Friday morning we said goodbye to Mom and Frankie and it wasn’t until he pulled into Long Beach Harbor that I knew we were going to Catalina for the weekend!

The entire weekend he had everything planned and even a secret itinerary typed out he would refer to but I wasn’t allowed to see. We had coffee and ran in the morning, went zip lining in the afternoon and had drinks by the beach in the evening with a dinner we could easily walk to. I couldn’t believe how much thought he’d put into anticipating what I would like to do and giving us plenty of time to just wander together as well.

I was particularly enthralled with the fact that our hotel put on a wine and cheese hour every evening from 4-6 pm. I made sure we booked it back to enjoy some people watching with wine in hand. On Saturday night before we headed to our celebratory dinner I put on a classic black dress and heels. As I was curling my hair and humming to myself, Larry asked me if I would like my anniversary gift. I responded with, “There’s more?!?” In that moment a flash of hope that this was a ring popped into my head. And then I held my breath and watched as he pulled out a necklace box. To compensate and mask my disappointment I fawned over the beautiful pearl necklace I had just received.

“Han, it’s okay,” I told myself. “He loves you so much but it’s not happening. That doesn’t mean this weekend isn’t amazing or you’re not loveable. If you feel that way you’re gonna need to go back to the therapist. Don’t let this rain on your enjoyment of being with your favorite person who has done all of this for you.” Then he said, “I got them because I thought you’d look beautiful in them and every woman should own a nice set of pearls.” I goo goo-ed and ga ga-ed over the necklace and came to the conclusion I was relieved the gift anticipation was over. I got a necklace! Whoo! Time to throw back a little more wine.

 

Action Steps:

1) Sometimes you gotta let your man take the lead and quit trying to be the boss all the time.

2) Decide what food is so enjoyable to you it will be consumed on vacation.  There was a lot of other junk I didn’t eat so I could rock that wine and cheese each night. Trust me.

3) Sometimes you want the ring and you end up with the necklace. Don’t let it spoil your fun!